Over the past few weeks, we have had a lot of cafe review posts (have a look back here, here and here) as well as a couple of great bakes (check this one and this one too!) but today I wanted to share something a little different on Where Is My Teaspoon?
I like so many people, often face set backs in my life. These can be tiny things, such as plans falling apart last minute – having to cancel holidays or meet ups with friends – or they can be slightly bigger things such as losing a job or just having to face a change I’m not quite ready for. With that in mind, I really wanted to share my top 3 tips for bouncing back when things don’t necessarily go to plan for you.
Acknowledge the disappointment & let it go:
The roughest one – I have learned the hard way that there is no point pretending you’re not disappointed or fed up when something doesn’t go your way. You won’t fool anyone and will most likely let the disappointment build up further inside, then everyone will be fed up of you because you keep holding on to it.
It’s really hard to let go of something if you’ve had your heart set or have been planning for it over a long period of time, but you have to accept that you don’t always have control over things. The next step for me then is to think, well what can I do or how can I get out of this funk (don’t worry…sometimes this takes me days too haha!)
Focus & achieve something else:
As my new yoga teacher tells me, you always need to give your mind something to do and something to focus on. When I face disappointing news, after I have cried my little heart out and gone on a mad one, I always eventually try to think of something else I can plan or achieve.
You’d be amazed at what booking a mini weekend away or evening tackling a job on your to do list can help you with! I know it can be very hard to focus on the present instead of the past but you have to think about the bigger picture and if you can turn things around with a different aim, or maybe just by moving the goal posts slightly. I find it comforting to remember that just because something hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to on day one, doesn’t mean it won’t happen on day 50 or 100 or 1,000!
Define why I’m so disappointed:
This is probably the most important for me, and always comes way later than the actual disappointment itself. Sometimes I find myself completely devastated by something not working out or by an unforeseen change and feel it’s important to actually ask the question: why am I feeling this way?
Am I actually upset something something far deeper than the thing itself? For example, if you’ve had to cancel a holiday and are really disappointed – is it that you really wanted to go there or maybe that you’re so stressed out the thought of the holiday was the only thing keeping you going?
I often discover, when I finally get around to examining my true feelings, they actually have very little to do with the original plan itself. By taking this time out then to examine it, I can try to make some different choices going forward which might lead me to being happier in the end.
The fact is (or so they tell me) everyone faces some level of disappointment throughout their lives; whether they tell you or not! Often, the only control we have over it is how we react ourselves. The good thing though is that if you do bounce back, you won’t be disappointed in yourself.